and so in this struggle to forgive a certain someone who to this very day continues her offending behavior .. two things robert said keep returning to mind:
the haste to forgive robs the space of the necessary unfolding which precedes forgiveness
and
incarnation's fleshdance in sacred transparency
and in the morning sitting .. freedom is given to (instead of leapfrogging once again to a forced forgiveness) .. space now granted to express the rage and pain ..
and there appears a thick roll of white paper tape inside the being .. like a cashregister tape .. and all the angry thoughts begin to print on the paper
ching ching ka-ching
as the tape begins to unroll out of the being .. words of hurt and of fury .. words of hatred and contempt .. words of insult and injury ..
ching ching ka-ching
the tape rolling out of her being .. knowing that once the tape runs out ..
catching glimpses of the end of the roll .. greater awareness of incarnation's fleshdance
and so it is allowed thru out the day .. for how many days it may take .. clearing out the crap inside .. going thru it as a way out of it