OK, no questions have been submitted this week.  Remember, Robert is now only answering questions on relationships now that he's working on a book taking an integral approach to that topic.

In other news, I've now ported Q&A Part Seven to the convenient new blog

Integral Naked Interviews Robert Augustus Masters

Each day (unless I forget) I'm posting one more Q&A there, so I'll be up to date with that in a couple of weeks.

spiral out,

arthur

---

I am seeking meaningful work.

bio: http://aqalicious.gaia.com/

I spend most of my "forum time" these days on The Integral Pod: http://pods.gaia.com/ii/

"You've never seen everything." - Bruce Cockburn

NOTE: I will be travelling to Seattle for a few days very early Friday morning, so I will send any questions Thursday evening or early the following week when I get back.

Only questions on relationships will be answered by Robert now that he's working on a book taking an integral approach to that topic.

The questions and answers are being archived at Integral Naked Interviews Robert Augustus Masters - currently Parts 1-9 are there, the rest will appear in due course.

spiral out,

arthur

---

I am seeking meaningful work.

bio: http://aqalicious.gaia.com/

I spend most of my "forum time" these days on The Integral Pod: http://pods.gaia.com/ii/

"You've never seen everything." - Bruce Cockburn

No questions have been submitted this week, unless someone wants to get in a last minute question today; after that any questions will be sent in the following Friday, as per usual.

Only questions on relationships will be answered by Robert now that he's working on a book taking an integral approach to that topic.

The questions and answers are being archived at Integral Naked Interviews Robert Augustus Masters - currently Parts 1-12 are there, the rest will appear in due course.

arthur

---

I am seeking meaningful work.

bio: http://aqalicious.gaia.com/

I spend most of my "forum time" these days on The Integral Pod: http://pods.gaia.com/ii/

"You've never seen everything." - Bruce Cockburn

I just posted an essay from Q&A Part Eight in ISC: Taking Care of Our Opposition.

Also note that another "Reclaiming Your True Voice" is coming up on December 8th:

Reclaiming Your True Voice

A ONE-DAY GROUP FOR WOMEN

December 9th, 2024 in White Rock, BC

with Robert Masters and Diane Bardwell

Many women do not have full access to their true voice, and as a result have not sufficiently represented themselves, attracting situations and relationships that have only reinforced their inability to truly speak for themselves.

This group is about taking back power that originally was given away in order to survive difficult conditions, and taking it back not just mentally, but also physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Doing so involves expressing, fully expressing, what’s been held back in the name of fear, insecurity, and social pressures.

Part of what is needed is a reclamation of anger (plus a clear differentiation between anger and aggression), so that it becomes a resource, a guardian of boundaries, a potent catalyst for needed change.

This group will involve deep letting go, through a creative mix of psychotherapy, bodywork, and spiritual deepening practices (led by Robert), and it will also involve toning, chanting, singing, and healing through sound (led by Diane). The release-work facilitated by Robert will let loose your voice, and the sound-work guided by Diane will wing, fill out, and celebrate your voice.

TUITION & LOGISTICS: US$250 or CDN$275 plus GST. A $100 deposit is required. Limited to 8 women. Early registration is highly recommended!

ROBERT is a critically acclaimed author and highly experienced groupleader and psychotherapist with a doctorate in Psychology, integrating mind, body, emotion, and spirituality in his work. For more information on his work and writings (and to subscribe to his free newsletter), visit www.RobertMasters.com.

Diane (Robert’s wife), is an intuitive energy healer and Reiki master, using sound to deepen healing and well-being. She is a songwriter and professional singer, with a gift for accessing the Sacred through sound and song. For more, see www.dianebardwell.com.

For more information, or to register,
contact info@robertmasters.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'd really love to know what one of these workshops is like, but I'm not (yet) willing to have a sex change operation in order to attend.  I need a female informant to attend one of them...

arthur

---

I am seeking meaningful work.

bio: http://aqalicious.gaia.com/

I spend most of my "forum time" these days on The Integral Pod: http://pods.gaia.com/ii/

"You've never seen everything." - Bruce Cockburn

Nice posting over on the Spiritual Center forum Arthur.  I'd post this there if I had access... but I don't so must post here.  Feel free to move this there if you like.

This part stood out for me, though the whole essay was excellent:

If we don’t deal well with our difficulties, we may take up residence in disembodied rationality or metaphysical escapism, finding therein a consoling numbness. Or, more commonly, we may settle into a denser state of being, not leveling out until we have found a degree of opposition -- or contractive force -- that we can generally make good use of, rather than merely tolerate.

We don’t get to move on until we are truly ready to do so, and that decisive shift arises not just from our mind and feeling self, but from our core of being, including within itself -- and this cannot be overemphasized -- the essential energies of whatever in us opposes it.

Before we can embody a deeper life, we must be able, more often than not, to remain grounded -- that is, centered not by egoity, but by Being -- not only in the presence of discomfort, unpleasantness, and opposition, but also in the presence of our reactivity and aversion to such challenges. This involves a skillful befriending and acceptance of insecurity, providing sufficient safety to let go of playing it so safe.

Being nonreactive requires the readily-activated ability and willingness to see and feel whatever opposes us as more than just something oppositional. This means ceasing to submit to -- or feed with attention -- our violent intentions and thoughts regarding our opposition.

I thought I'd post another snip from Stephen Dinan, taking the political view on this subject:

.

Jesus´ most radical teaching was to “love thy enemy as thyself.’ This teaching is at the sacred core of his work, challenging us to open our hearts so wide that we exclude no one, even those who attack or wrong us. Instead, we are asked to forgive those who wrong us not just seven times but “seventy times seven times.’

Who among us has lived this teaching fully? It is certainly not easy – millennia of biological survival programs drive us towards domination, violence, and revenge when threatened. But with humanity´s amplified capacity to destroy, if we let ourselves be driven by our biological codes, we accelerate the forces that are taking humanity over a deadly cliff. I believe that we have no other choice but to take seriously Jesus´ radical heart practice if we want to survive. If we cannot find love for those we now see as our enemies, the spiral of retribution and fear continues, thereby preventing us from rising to meet the great challenges of our day.

The golden possibility of a healthy, prosperous, and sustainable planet will remain out of reach so long as we squander so much of our money, talent, and time on defense and aggression, protection and control, dominance and fear. The 21st century is humanity´s time of reckoning. We will evolve or we will self-destruct. I believe it is as simple as that. The difference between the two paths is not technological or even political but psychological and spiritual. Ultimately, it comes down to the question of how wide we are willing to open our hearts. Only when we extend our love to all of humanity can we begin to collaborate effectively on the otherwise unsolvable catastrophes that loom before us.

So as we hear of terrorist plots and watch devastating wars, let us dare to practice what Jesus taught. Instead of feeding the cycle of fear and contraction, let us instead encourage a spiral of love, holding both sides in a vision of sacred healing. It is indeed a practice and may not come naturally. But when we speak, think, and act from this stance, we can begin to reverse the downward spiral of humanity´s heart. This includes extending our love even to the very politicians and leaders who sound the drumbeat for war and retribution. Can we include them in our compassion as well, sending them blessings of peace and love? Even if they take the role of the aggressor, they too are stuck, afraid, and wounded. “Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do.’

The ripples may seem small from opening our hearts wider at the very moment when our biology screams for protection, but the acts of healing and compassion that result are the only thing that can propel us beyond our wounded reactivity to discover our shared humanity. .

 

---

HeartMind.us

Thanks for the kudos, Michael, and I've quoted your post over there as requested - thanks for sharing that. 

BTW, mention was made of your Heartmind forum by a couple of us in the More Integral Spaces? thread.  Feel free to share your own commentary, observations, recommendations etc. over there.  Cross-fertilization and sharing of perspectives in how different integral forums operate can only benefit all of us, IMO.

Any questions on integral relationships (or integral questions on relationships for that matter)...anyone? 

spiral out,

arthur

---

I am seeking meaningful work.

bio: http://aqalicious.gaia.com/

I spend most of my "forum time" these days on The Integral Pod: http://pods.gaia.com/ii/

"You've never seen everything." - Bruce Cockburn

I hope this will be clear.. and in time to submit

The process of being in service to the other in relationship seems to be slippery slope and one that I hear used as a more complete and progressive way of BEing in relationship

My understanding of it is that one is to always be simultaniously in service to the other while being clear about one's own needs and desires.  Where does the line between selfless and selfull begin?  And in the shadows... does one become the giver in order to receive and vice versa?  How does this level of giving to the other really stay in its highest form?

Will this work?

---

Now that I know I'm no wiser than anyone else, does this wisdom make me wiser? Hugh Prather

I've submitted Fireangel's question and another which was PM'd to me.  Robert's latest newsletter is out, and he has a blog now:

Issue #19 of my newsletter (with essays on IDIOT COMPASSION
and FORGIVENESS) is now available. To view it, click on the
following link:

http://www.RobertMasters.com/newsletter/November2006.pdf

Previous newsletters can now be viewed in PDF format by
clicking on NEWSLETTER at www.RobertMasters.com.

I now have a blog! To view it, click on THE BLOG button
at www.RobertMasters.com

If you have trouble downloading the newsletter, make sure that
you have Adobe Reader (a free download from www.Adobe.com)
installed.
To transcend yourself, be yourself.

spirals,

arthur

---

I am seeking meaningful work.

bio: http://aqalicious.gaia.com/

I spend most of my "forum time" these days on The Integral Pod: http://pods.gaia.com/ii/

"You've never seen everything." - Bruce Cockburn

Q&A Part Twenty-Nine

Gina/FireAngel asks:

The process of being in service to the other in relationship seems to be a slippery slope and one that I hear used as a more complete and progressive way of Being in relationship.

My understanding of it is that one is to always be simultaneously in service to the other while being clear about one's own needs and desires.  Where does the line between selfless and selfull begin?  And in the shadows... does one become the giver in order to receive and vice versa?  How does this level of giving to the other really stay in its highest form?

Will this work?


Robert answers:

The notion -- or worse, ideal -- of “being in service to another” or “serving another” in relational contexts very easily becomes a trying-to-be-good “should” that burdens rather than deepens us. We need to ask, and sincerely ask, what our actual motivation is for wanting to “serve” another.

Do we hope that such “serving” will bring us more love, connection, security, approval, or attention? Does our “serving” the other frame us in a way that we desire? Are we really there to serve the other’s best interests, or are we there to mostly just benefit and further ourselves, if only in the chambers of moral and/or spiritual correctness? When we’re busy “being of service,” what is actually being served? Does our giving reinforce our sense of ourselves as a somebody who serves others, or does it become a giving without a giver, a giving unpolluted by self-serving agendas?

And what does it really mean to serve another? Our finest actions may have little impact on another, whereas our far-from-caring actions may, however unwittingly, actually have a hugely positive impact on the very same person. This of course does not justify or legitimize such far-from-caring actions, but simply points out that almost anything can under the right conditions sooner or later serve another’s well-being, however indirectly. Sometimes we are of greatest service to another when we refuse to be of service to them. Given all this, what perhaps matters most here is where we are coming from when we are giving to another.

I don’t think that we can fully serve another’s well-being until we recognize, right to our core, that what we do to another we do to ourselves. The actions that emerge from such recognition are not trying to be compassionate, but are naturally compassionate. Compassion then is not something we do, but are.

I’ve seen many relationships in which one partner -- usually the woman -- is busy trying to serve the other (perhaps confusing this with being caring or feminine), confusing making the other’s needs a priority with actually being truly intimate with that one. Such apparent sacrifice -- which could be called idiot consideration -- may seem to be racking up a stack of spiritual brownie points, but in fact is more often than not just old-fashioned submissiveness in contemporary clothing.

In mature relationships, relationships that are primarily being-centered, partners are not trying to be of service to each other. Yes, they are of service to each other, but there’s no self-consciousness about it, no sense of being a somebody who is serving another’s well-being. They give as though no one’s watching. No big deal. For them, serving the other is not a practice (those who make it a practice are usually covering up an entirely different sort of desire through their immersion in such practice), but rather a natural, spontaneous act, all but inseparable from the rest of their life.

Those who are in mature relationships, relationships in which freedom is found through intimacy, recognize (to varying degrees) that everything can serve their awakening. They don’t love and live in integrity with their partner in order to be of service, but rather because to do otherwise is no longer natural for them. Instead of trying to help, they are help; instead of trying to be caring, they are care incarnate, even when angry or upset. They don’t so much serve their partner, as they serve Being; and they serve Being by allowing all things to serve their awakening.

In serving without being a server, we become an optimal environment for our beloved other. And if they are doing the same for us, our intimacy can only deepen, expanding far beyond our relationship...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Betsy/Jacinda asks:

Thank you for posting RAM's Taking Care of Our Opposition....

I am also very intrigued by the invitation to ask RAM a relationship question....

just letting clarity emerge in flow....

fear of loss or death, the alluring power of domination and control...

leaves the little ones very vulnerable.

I have learned a lot from being in abusive relationships...the loss of a voice(always a choice)...

It is humbling to reflect on how I relate to children from social/parental conditioning.

Many dynamics are present in my own integrating family...4 children...3 step-children to my husband.

Integrating a relationship between a step-child and a step-parent requires a friendship and trust to develop.

A step-parent usually has a tough time assuming the "normal" authoritative parental role.

...to befriend the child a step-parent will need to keep an openness when relating to the child.

I once heard someone say.....all parents should act like step-parents....dialoging to create understanding, a willingness to be open for the child to get to know you....etc..

I am curious what Robert would expand on to illuminate the balance necessary for a harmonious parent/child relationship......especially because in my own experience this has been the crux of being response able in a hierarchy of body/mind/soul care and guidance.

Betsy

Robert answers:

I’m not sure what exactly you are asking, so I’m going to respond to part of what I sense you questioning.

Better than a harmonious parent/child relationship is an authentic one, one that is lived in a way that seeks and finds as much value from disharmony as from harmony. Harmony as a goal may sound great, but is not, in most cases, very realistic. Beyond the dreamy flatlands and gently rolling hills of harmony is a peace that does not mind disturbance any more than the sky minds its clouds, a peace that does not disappear, but instead becomes a kind of stable background, when states like anger and hurt arise and find expression.

Parents who lack intimacy with their own child-side -- which includes their vulnerability, playfulness, innocence, and unself-conscious creativity -- will not have a deep enough resonance with their children (and stepchildren) to be truly close and connected. They may be loving, but it won’t be a fully open loving, a loving that runs deep not only through nurturing times, but also through challenging times.

In rejecting or marginalizing our own child-side, we reject or marginalize our children, having only adult-erated love to give to them. In turning away from, ostracizing, or otherwise neglecting the wounds of our own child-side, we numb ourselves to our children’s hurt, adopting an approach that is unnecessarily distant, an approach that keeps us “safely” removed from our own unresolved pain.

In openly and fully connecting with our child-side, and feeling not only our deep love for it, but also our natural protectiveness of it, we become sanctuaries for our children’s maturation. Even when they break away from this, as they need to, to varying degrees, when their teen years kick in, that sense of sanctuary remains, however much it may be pushed into the background, so that they know they can turn to us when things get rough or difficult -- unless of course we are trying to keep them at a stage that they have mostly outgrown.

Taking good care of the child within us -- loving, protecting, and bringing fitting perspective to that one -- empowers us to take good care of the children who have been entrusted to us, whether they are our blood-children or not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions are sent to Robert each Friday.  Only questions on relationships will be answered by Robert now that he's working on a book taking an integral approach to that topic.

The questions and answers are being archived at Integral Naked Interviews Robert Augustus Masters - currently Parts 1-13 are there, the rest will appear in due course. 

arthur

---

I am seeking meaningful work.

bio: http://aqalicious.gaia.com/

I spend most of my "forum time" these days on The Integral Pod: http://pods.gaia.com/ii/

"You've never seen everything." - Bruce Cockburn

i think these responses are grrrreat!!!! thank you

gita

Thank you Robert and Arthur!

Wonderful Q&A on the role of service in relationship.

My inquiry is a bit unusual.

I do believe….you get what you ask for, so I am aware of my questions.

The main question I use for Self-inquiry/reflection….Is this true?

Your response touches on important aspects of healing relationships with children….who are suffering,

yet open to love in a humbling manner.

Robert, I do appreciate the emphasis on authentic:

Better than a harmonious parent/child relationship is an authentic one, one that is lived in a way that seeks and finds as much value from disharmony as from harmony.

……

In openly and fully connecting with our child-side, and feeling not only our deep love for it, but also our natural protectiveness of it, we become sanctuaries for our children’s maturation.

With gratitude and LOVE

Betsy

 

 

---

“Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” ~Mark Twain

Any questions submitted for this week (none so far) will be sent in tomorrow as per usual.  Robert is only taking questions on relationships these days.

spiral out,

arthur

---

I am seeking meaningful work.

bio: http://aqalicious.gaia.com/

I spend most of my "forum time" these days on The Integral Pod: http://pods.gaia.com/ii/

"You've never seen everything." - Bruce Cockburn

Important announcement by Robert Augustus Masters:

It's time for me to end my Integral Naked Q & A, due to my work and writing demands. My heartfelt thanks to all who participated, both directly and indirectly; I greatly enjoyed the process.

Feel free to stay in touch with me through my website (www.RobertMasters.com), which now includes my blog and newsletter archive

For my part, I tremendously enjoyed the process of moderating the Q&A thread, and have learned a lot in the process.  Much appreciation to Robert for putting so much work into this, and to everyone who participated by asking great questions.  I know myself and many others have benefited enormously from Robert's insightful answers and essays posted here.

Note that the Q&A sessions are being archived at the following blog:

Integral Naked Interviews Robert Augustus Masters

Also, it gives me pleasure to announce that the revised/expanded edition of Divine Dynamite is now out - this edition contains an index which was written by me.  I will also be indexing another book by Robert next year and I'm available for other indexing assignments.

spiral out,
arthur

---

I am seeking meaningful work.

bio: http://aqalicious.gaia.com/

I spend most of my "forum time" these days on The Integral Pod: http://pods.gaia.com/ii/

"You've never seen everything." - Bruce Cockburn

Bravo, Arthur. One of the greatest threads on IN ever. I'm so grateful for Robert's generosity with his time.

And your index ROCKS. There's nothing quite so gratifying as going to the exact page that one needs. A good index is like a good movie director–you don't even realize how important it is until you get a really bad one.

Liz

---

Upgrade to ISC!
http://integralinstitute.org/public/static/multispirit.aspx
http://pods.gaia.com/ii

thank you so much Arthur, I learned much from him. And I was inspired by him. thank you for being Hermes.

Gita