I think you are on to something with this post. I am also uncomfortable with the idea of selfless love, largely because I think the term is used imprecisely. My sense is that the typical meaning of selfless love is one in which the needs of the other are put first. I think that a lot of times people who attempt to express "selfless love" end up being a door mat. Parents who take care of their children may be expressing selfless love but maybe they're meeting their inner need to be a good parent. And I wonder if there are times when putting your needs first can be the most loving thing you do for another person (e.g. when modeling appropriate boundaries). Can you love the other without loving your self? To get more literal...can there be any such thing as selfless love or no-self love? Who does the loving? The ever-present Witness? Is that love or just pure awareness? Are they the same?
Well, I'm not sure that made a lot of sense. It's late and I'm off to bed.
Peace,
Alex