Here is the resumption of the incredibly popular RAM Q&A thread from the last iteration of the IN forum.  Please post any questions here, or send them to me in a PM (indicate anonymity if you like).  Each Friday I will send whatever questions are pending; Robert usually responds within a few days, and I post his responses here.

I have a blog entry in which I will post each section of the ongoing (currently weekly) dialog, numbered and dated:

Integral Naked Interviews Robert Augustus Masters

The blog entry contains only the questions and answers; in this thread, conversation and commentary on the subject matter at hand is welcome and encouraged.

arthur

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I am seeking meaningful work.

bio: http://aqalicious.gaia.com/

I spend most of my "forum time" these days on The Integral Pod: http://pods.gaia.com/ii/

"You've never seen everything." - Bruce Cockburn

Any questions this week will be sent in tomorrow - usually I do it in the morning before work.

arthur

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I am seeking meaningful work.

bio: http://aqalicious.gaia.com/

I spend most of my "forum time" these days on The Integral Pod: http://pods.gaia.com/ii/

"You've never seen everything." - Bruce Cockburn

Well, it's too late for morning before work (unless you go in a noon like I do).
Updates and news, we'll see if a question forms:

I gave a copy of your essay on Guilt to a friend of mine who, 50 years later, still struggles with guilt over the fact that her father committed suicide when she was 12, after molesting her for years.
She reports...
"The article on guilt opened my eyes to what it really is.  I have been working at catching it the minute I feel it." 
So on her behalf, thank you, Robert.

I had my quarterly appointment with my prescribing psychiatrist the other day, and advised that I had cut my prescription in half, based on research and meditative success and stability.  He cautioned that I was very smart and prone to rationalization, not to be surprised if I had to call asking to have the dosage increased again.  I acknowledged that I could be indulging in 'stupid brain tricks' and described some of the insights I was getting into the nature of emotions (empty)...he understood not a word of it. Time to find a new doctor. Subtle sabotage of what is clearly working for a patient is not part of that oath, methinks. Bring all adversity to the path of awakening, indeed.

What I did not reveal was that the 'intensive' therapy you recommended is taking place within the context of a 12-step program. When done properly, I have (in stunned disbelief) that rigorous attention to these steps with a wise sponsor who will 'raise the bullshit flag' can be as liberating and insightful as the therapy I have done.

Well, a question didn't come up. Arthur, please just send this along with my thanks.
Namaste--Julie

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All of my thoughts, like junkyard dogs, guarding scraps of nothing......
Bird York

Julie, your words will be read by the RAMster.

arthur

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I am seeking meaningful work.

bio: http://aqalicious.gaia.com/

I spend most of my "forum time" these days on The Integral Pod: http://pods.gaia.com/ii/

"You've never seen everything." - Bruce Cockburn

Robert's latest newsletter is available - two great essays on Doubt and Faith.

arthur

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I am seeking meaningful work.

bio: http://aqalicious.gaia.com/

I spend most of my "forum time" these days on The Integral Pod: http://pods.gaia.com/ii/

"You've never seen everything." - Bruce Cockburn

Robert-this month's newsletter was great, as usual. Loved the essay on doubt. Here are two questions for you. I thought seriously about posting them anonymously, but then, last time I did that, I ended up having to reconstruct my questions and it was a pain. What the hell, here goes.

I've been examining my feelings about my marriage ending and my ex's girlfriend. I've come to a point where I'm comfortable with the situation for the most part, and my ex and I are getting along very well. At this point, much of my negative feelings are just tapes playing in my head, not deeply felt emotions. They're mostly empty. I've also accepted my part in the end of our marriage.

My difficulty is in stopping these tapes from playing. Is it premature to expect that, or is there a way I can actively stop this repetitive resentment? I feel like it is coloring my new relationship in that I have fears that I'm indulging in, and I don't want to keep repeating a cycle of fear and closing myself off.

Also, do you have a better word for my "ex"? It sounds horrible to me, and he's much more than that. He's my best friend and my children's father. We plan on having a relationship for a long time. I would prefer a more friendly term.

Also, the physical distance in this new relationship is really hard for me. How does one who is not a great meditator and has trouble staying in the here and now live with the loneliness that comes with a long-distance relationship? Is there some sort of structured meditation or something that will help?

Love to you and Diane,

Liz

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Upgrade to ISC!
http://integralinstitute.org/public/static/multispirit.aspx
http://pods.gaia.com/ii

IF I may answer, or at least provide a thought.....

I, too, think "ex" sounds rather negative. Sorry, I can't think of a friendly term for it.

The best way to accept something, is to simply accept it. Once that truly happens, the "tapes" shouldn't play.

Things in the past, are simply that....they don't really matter much in the current. Sure, they shape and mold us, either for the better or the worse, but they are what they are....in the past. I know it's hard, it's not easy to "let go", but once you do, I don't think it will be a problem.

Distance relationships are always hard-ER. My advice, focus on the postives, and eliminate the negatives. Don't overthink it.

I know you didn't ask me the question, and forgive me for butting in, just thought I could help in some way. If it helps, great, if not.....sorry.

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In a black and white picture....there's a lot of grey junk

Vortex, I appreciate you trying to help, but yeah, for this thread, I'd like to keep this as something Robert answers.

Thanks.

Liz

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Upgrade to ISC!
http://integralinstitute.org/public/static/multispirit.aspx
http://pods.gaia.com/ii

DOH!!

I missed the whole thing. Right there, I looked left, it went right.

Bashfully stepping back into the darkness, where the light doesn't shine (but my head occasionally finds itself). LOL.

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In a black and white picture....there's a lot of grey junk

No worries, Vortex.

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Upgrade to ISC!
http://integralinstitute.org/public/static/multispirit.aspx
http://pods.gaia.com/ii

Actually, at the beginning of the thread I state the following:

I have a blog entry in which I will post each section of the ongoing (currently weekly) dialog, numbered and dated:

Integral Naked Interviews Robert Augustus Masters

The blog entry contains only the questions and answers; in this thread, conversation and commentary on the subject matter at hand is welcome and encouraged.

I find people's responses to the questions or Robert's answers interesting.  I would also add, people are free to start daughter threads which branch off from anything you read in this thread.

Q&A part 24 has just been submitted.

arthur

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I am seeking meaningful work.

bio: http://aqalicious.gaia.com/

I spend most of my "forum time" these days on The Integral Pod: http://pods.gaia.com/ii/

"You've never seen everything." - Bruce Cockburn

Reasons for making reasons (within a healing context):


Making or finding reasons for why we are as we are can possibly suggest useful strategies for making changes.

Reasons provide meaning which in turn satisfies a desire…the desire to understand…to solve a puzzle, to satisfy curiosity, provide solace to the ego etc.

Provide the illusion of control (the mind likes to think it runs the show, and meaning is mind-fodder).

Provide story and explanation to reinforce and bolster continuity of identity.

Reasons can serve to reinforce ‘the problem’.

Reasons can provide plenty of materials for purposes of complaining.

Based on the above, it would seem that the negatives outweigh the positives of making & finding reasons. Yet to my often amazed mind, I still continue to look for and create reasons, and frankly, I'm tired of it.

There is the need for investigation and processing that simply doesn’t go away no matter how much I wish it away.

I investigate what is happening within and to me because to not do so is painful. A sense of Wholeness and Understanding that is beyond mere reasoning calls me ever forward, even as the pain of looping over and over again in cycles of one sort or another insist that I bring awareness into dark areas of self via an investigative mode of inquiry.

So I do so. Part of what happens then - is simple witnessing, and another part is analysis. (actually, I think that there are multiple layers of inquiry, and rational analysis is just one of them, but tends to dominate).

And what does the analyzing mind do? Makes and finds reasons and patterns and stories of course.

 

Reasons tend to go on and on in ever widening circles of self-justification.

 

 

What are your thoughts Robert on the question of interpretations and meaning-making within healing?

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HeartMind.us

michael, i hope you don't mind if i say something about this.

as i was reading what you wrote, it struck me that it might be more desireable/productive/pleasant/good to ask "how" instead of "why"? "How" has a looking forward quality to it whereas "why" has a looking back. Instead of "why do I feel badly?" it could be "how might I feel better?"

My thought is that this kind of question still engages the same part of the mind that loops from the emotional to the rational.

On a more "spiritual" level, it might even be "how can I come to the place where my mind isn't as active?" as opposed to "why is my mind so active?"

It almost goes without saying, but this line of thinking has been serving me well recently and that's where this is coming from.

Peace to you,

Bryan

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Holla at a Buddha if you see him in the street

Yes thanks Bryan, that makes good sense.  I guess I'm just overly fascinated by meaning such that it becomes obsessive at times. 

I've always loved this little ditty by Kurt Vonnegut:

"Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, man gotta sit and wonder why? why? why?
Fish gotta rest, bird gotta land, man gotta tell himself he understand."

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HeartMind.us

MichaelD:

Reasons for making reasons (within a healing context):


Making or finding reasons for why we are as we are can possibly suggest useful strategies for making changes.

Reasons provide meaning which in turn satisfies a desire…the desire to understand…to solve a puzzle, to satisfy curiosity, provide solace to the ego etc.

Provide the illusion of control (the mind likes to think it runs the show, and meaning is mind-fodder).

Provide story and explanation to reinforce and bolster continuity of identity.

Reasons can serve to reinforce ‘the problem’.

Reasons can provide plenty of materials for purposes of complaining.

Based on the above, it would seem that the negatives outweigh the positives of making & finding reasons. Yet to my often amazed mind, I still continue to look for and create reasons, and frankly, I'm tired of it.

There is the need for investigation and processing that simply doesn’t go away no matter how much I wish it away.

I investigate what is happening within and to me because to not do so is painful. A sense of Wholeness and Understanding that is beyond mere reasoning calls me ever forward, even as the pain of looping over and over again in cycles of one sort or another insist that I bring awareness into dark areas of self via an investigative mode of inquiry.

So I do so. Part of what happens then - is simple witnessing, and another part is analysis. (actually, I think that there are multiple layers of inquiry, and rational analysis is just one of them, but tends to dominate).

And what does the analyzing mind do? Makes and finds reasons and patterns and stories of course.

 

Reasons tend to go on and on in ever widening circles of self-justification.

 

 

What are your thoughts Robert on the question of interpretations and meaning-making within healing?

This is a great question, Michael.  I'll send it next week.  I like Bryan's riff on that, so I'll add that as well:

integralschism:

michael, i hope you don't mind if i say something about this.

as i was reading what you wrote, it struck me that it might be more desireable/productive/pleasant/good to ask "how" instead of "why"? "How" has a looking forward quality to it whereas "why" has a looking back. Instead of "why do I feel badly?" it could be "how might I feel better?"

My thought is that this kind of question still engages the same part of the mind that loops from the emotional to the rational.

On a more "spiritual" level, it might even be "how can I come to the place where my mind isn't as active?" as opposed to "why is my mind so active?"

It almost goes without saying, but this line of thinking has been serving me well recently and that's where this is coming from.

Peace to you,

Bryan

---

I am seeking meaningful work.

bio: http://aqalicious.gaia.com/

I spend most of my "forum time" these days on The Integral Pod: http://pods.gaia.com/ii/

"You've never seen everything." - Bruce Cockburn